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Expecting

17 Feb

It’s easy to get in a negative way of thinking. Sometimes it seems all the evidence you see around you is pointing you towards a negative conclusion.

I’ve been there, in that spiral of despair and self-defeating thinking. Sometimes it’s not just you making it up, though; sometimes things do go wrong. When more things go wrong, it’s easy to see that as some kind of pattern. This is the way it’s going to be. You expect it to go wrong; it goes wrong; you feel vindicated. It doesn’t go wrong because you expect it, but it can, and does, go wrong.

But there’s a but. You might think it makes sense to dismiss other people when they say you shouldn’t be so negative, when all the evidence points you towards a conclusion that you should be so negative, but they’re just trying to help. I know how hard it is to accept. I know it seems like they’re trying to represent a world you can’t imagine. I know they can be a pain. But they might just have a glimpse of something you can hang onto.

Things can change. That string of negativity you see as an inevitable path alongside you might change course. Sometimes you can try and try and try to change it, and nothing seems to work; sometimes it’s just the trying to change it, even if it doesn’t succeed, that’s the most important thing. If you fight, you feel alive. The burn of failure is healthy. It makes you try again. It makes you realise how important it is to you.

There are no miracles. There is just the ability to try again, even if you don’t get there straight away.

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Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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